Thursday, January 27, 2011

This one's for you

It's official. I am happy. My face doesn't lie, my smile doesn't lie. I don't lie. I finally don't lie. I'm true. And I have been waiting for the truth to come. And it came. It finally came. The way my eyes sparkle, the way my laughter fills the room, the way it fills the space between us. And as the space narrows, as our lips comes closer, I realise. I realise that you're the one I'm happy with. The one I don't have to pretend with. The one I don't have to lie to. The one. You are the one. One and only. You can feel special, you know you do. And you are special, you're in my heart. And you're not getting out so easily, you are staying.
It's hard to describe the feeling inside. "Like" is not exactly how I feel about you, it's something stronger, something more. It's something I can't defined, something new, something worth fighting for, you're worth fighting for. You make me happy. And happiness is something I had lost. It's something I needed to find. And you gave it to me. And now we're sharing it.
And when your eyes set to mine, when your gentle lips kiss me, everything fades away, but only you remain. And then I smile, I kiss you on the forehead and smile. Be mine.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The play without the plot

Life is challenging. Remember, I said I like challenges? I do, I really do. And this year so far, I have been winning them, I just hope this keeps going on. I just hope the luck doesn't run out. I've had my first breakdowns, first fights, first romances and a first of everything else. Every thing's a first, 'cause it's my new life, the one I promised myself to live. To live & be happy, that is what I said. but I can't promise that, can I? I can only hope. Someone once told me that happiness is a mood, not a destination. Then what is the destination? Where am I headed for? Or am I just freelancing on my own? 'Cause I don't really have a plan, I let things happen, good or bad, but they happen. I think they call that faith. But what is in charge of us? Is it faith or is it just us? Maybe faith is something abstract, something imaginary and all we have is our free will. And to be honest, I don't know what to do with it. I have this weird sensation of knowing what I want from life in general and being completely clueless what to do with it at the same time. So I keep freelancing. I am on my own.
I decide to forgive or to forget, to love or to hate.
And so I have decided.
I will forgive the person who made me smile.
I will forget the times I cried.
I will love myself.
I will hate... I don't know what to hate.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

A fresh start

My new life starts today. Forget who I was and get used to the person I've become. You don't have to like me, the most important thing is that I love myself. That is all that matters. I love myself more than others, so others can't hurt me anymore. There is this wall in front of me. And I'm not letting anyone to go around it. I am locked in my own world where I am in charge, where I make decisions. And for the first time in a long time there is a smile on my lips when I am writing. And this smile comes from the heart. It's not a mask, it's not a lie. It's me. I've killed a part of my past, a part that was haunting me. And now when it's dead, I can start with a fresh view to the world.
And so much is gonna change now. Everything is about to change. Everyone & everything around me is gonna be new. I will have new challenges, I have new goals. A new life, a fresh start. That's what I wanted and that is what I got.
This year is a blank page, but it's about to change soon. There are gonna be new stories, new secrets, new adventures. It's all out there, waiting for me. And I am gonna throw myself into it. and I won't look back. I won't.
I'm not a little naive boy anymore, I have grown up. That is how I feel. I feel grown up. And it's a good thing.