Wednesday, December 22, 2010


It hurts. A lot. It's been weeks since I'm walking around with this large, empty hole in my chest. And it's not getting better. I'm suffering. I can't stand the pain anymore, I can't fight. I'm not strong enough, I'm not strong at all. I am weak and always will be. When the tears dry new ones wet my cheeks, new ones soak my pillow. Memories cut deep my already broken heart, my shattered heart. It's in a million pieces and each one belongs to you. If only you would take them all with you.
You left so suddenly, I wasn't prepared, but I could never be prepared, I could never forget. I will never forget. When you left you disapeared. I can't find you, I've tried. When you left, happiness left me too, it will never come back and you will be lost forever. I know I can't change anything, but I will die trying. I wish I could turn back time and live in the past, 'cause I can't face the future without you. You left me alone, you left my soul die.
It hurts so much to wake up alone. I can't look at the things you left behind, it's too hard, but sometimes, I take them out from where I've hid them and try to remember your scent, I try to remember the feeling when you held me in you arms, when you breathed on my neck, when you whispered 'I love you'. And then I cry. I cry for long, lonely hours and scream until I fall asleep. And when I wake up at night and see that I am so alone in this world, a part of me dies. And now every part of me is dead and I wish I could drawn in my own tears, I wish I would never wake up. I wish I was dreaming you still needed me and the dream would never end. Because I know that in reality that dream would never come true.